I can remember more than one occasion in my childhood when my mom or my dad was the recipient of a less-than-flattering remark about the fact that they have 8 children. Anyone from a large family could probably relate similar stories.

Today’s society is often permeated by the attitude that big families equal big trouble. As the second-born child in a family of eight children, I can vouch for quite the opposite opinion. Not only do I think large families are not all that bad, but I also think that the world stands to learn a lot from the average large family.

Those who criticize large families might look at the world and see one person using one SUV, consuming one box of cereal, etc., and assumes that in a large family the same gross consumption of resources occurs. In large families, however, these same resources are used more efficiently. A change is needed in our world if we are to address the growing issue of global warming, ecological foot printing, and whatever other problems attributed to large families; however, this change needs to be a change in lifestyle, not life count. This is where I think the large family has something to offer.

Growing up in a large family imbues a perceptive sense of “other” in the child. Witnessing the self-sacrificing dedication of parents to oneself and one’s siblings is one of the most powerful experiences a child can behold. Though things have evolved and changed in my own family over the years, my parents have remained steadfast in their loving concern for each of their children. I have seen that it is no bed of roses to raise a large family or to raise kids in general. And yet, witnessing my parents’ joy in sacrificing for their children has profoundly shaped my own understanding of what it means to be a parent. Their example has shown me what it means to love and to love courageously.

Parental love creates the family. The family, properly understood, is a community of members united by this deep love. In a community, each member has a role to play that sustains that community. Each family member assumes greater responsibilities. In my own experience, this sense of responsibility fosters the virtue of humility. It’s not just about me; it is about something larger and greater than myself. If I don’t do my part, the family suffers.

To bear such responsibility toward one’s family members might seem grave and intimidating, but the challenge encourages individual growth. In a large family, you are almost always surrounded by a gaggle of friends (i.e., your siblings). For me, these are not just any friends: These are my best friends. They have formed a sound foundation of support that will be with me throughout my life.  They have taught me how to interact with a variety of personalities and how to forge relationships. They have also taught me the truth of my individual value—no matter how many times I’ve messed up, at the end of the day my family members think I’m all right. The most important benefit of living in a large family is that it helps us develop an awareness of self in relation to others, a goal toward which the whole human family should aspire.

Mary Daly was editor-in-chief of THE ROVER in 2009-2010. Contact her at marykd87@gmail.com.