Cheers
1. Michael Jackson
For his heroic injuries in the line of duty. You might not think writing Cheers & Jeers is dangerous work, but the potential for paper cuts, eye strain, injured pride, and unidentifiable stomach trauma is nearly unmatched. We eagerly await his return and wish him all the best as he recovers.
2. The Detroit Tigers
Cheer for the Detroit Tigers, beating the Evil Empire (otherwise known as the New York Yankees) Monday night to take the 2-1 lead in the playoffs. While any game the Yankees lose is a good game, having the Tiger’s get the “W” makes it all the sweeter. Pitching-genius Justin Verlander went 8 innings to earn his first 2011 playoff win. Delmon Young batted in the winning home run in the bottom of the seventh to give the Tigers the lead. Jose “Big Potato” Valverde added some drama in the ninth, when he put two men on base, but ended the night by striking out the oh-so clutch Mr. October himself, Derek Jeter. Hopefully by the time you are reading this unbiased blurb, dear reader, Detroit will have already closed out the Yanks. Let’s go, Tigers!
3. DeBartolo bathrooms
They still didn’t fix the locks (or the smell), but we’re happy they’re back. Ironically, bathrooms are one of the few human rights that they haven’t recognized in Europe, and we were afraid Notre Dame might be shifting towards their model.
Jeers
1. Michael Jackson
For abdicating all truly serious responsibilities, like authoring Cheers & Jeers for this issue. What’s a little hospital visit? Surely his venerable predecessors would spring from the grave for the privilege of sharing their witticisms.
2. Unserious defenses of ND
See “How Catholic is Notre Dame?” in the September 29 edition of the Observer. We love Notre Dame deeply too, but even a recent Observer staff editorial claims that the school is having an identity crisis (that’s when you know it must be bad). Unfortunately, phrases like “Tickets will be on sale in the 24 hour lounge tonight after Mass” do not a Catholic university make. Hip Hop Night at Legends, anyone?
3. Banned Books Week at Hesburgh Library
So, some local communities have at particular times chosen to “ban” (that is, typically, to restrict access to) particular books. We get it: a few of these books actually have actual merit. But with real “banned” literature like Twain and Faulkner to choose from, Notre Dame librarians reportedly read from classics like — wait for it — And Tango Makes Three, a picture book designed to teach 4 and 5 year olds about families with same-sex parents. Fitting in with the American elite is about as edgy as, well, Banned Books Week.
