Research from the Guttenmacher Institute shows that since Indiana’s near-total ban on abortion, approximately 10,200 women have fled to other states to procure an abortion. Besides loss of life, such procedures often impose feelings of guilt, shame, and sadness on parents. Serena Dyksen, the founder of She Found His Grace, a non-denominational abortion recovery organization, corresponded with the Rover via email about this important topic.
Dyksen faced an unplanned pregnancy when she was 13 at the hands of an abusive family member. She was subsequently taken to receive an abortion. Dyksen later experienced another unplanned pregnancy, but this time chose life. However, she recounts that she did not feel whole until she encountered the love and grace God would bestow upon her.
Through her work, Dyksen experiences firsthand the barriers that prevent women from talking about abortion grief. She told the Rover, “One of the biggest reasons is that many people do not feel like they are allowed to grieve an abortion. There can be so much shame, secrecy, fear of judgment, and confusion surrounding the experience. Some have never told anyone about their abortion. Others have tried to talk about their pain and have been told, directly or indirectly, that they made their choice and should simply move on.”
Dyksen noted, “Someone may experience grief and relief at the same time. She may regret the abortion while also remembering why she believed it was her only option. She may love and miss her child while still feeling anger toward people who pressured her. Sometimes people are angry with themselves, with God, with a partner, or with circumstances surrounding the pregnancy.”
Dyksen also explained that her organization does not see abortion as a political issue and instead takes a holistic approach. “We see it as a moral and spiritual issue because it concerns the value of human life, the well-being of women and families, and the consequences that can follow an abortion decision,” she explained.
Dyksen argued the politicization of abortion is another reason why women do not talk about their grief. “Because abortion is discussed so publicly and passionately, people can also be afraid that sharing their personal pain will turn their story into a debate instead of an opportunity to be heard and cared for.”
She explained that, when abortion becomes merely a political issue, “[We] lose sight of the woman who feels trapped, the child whose life is at stake, the man affected by an abortion decision, and the person who may carry grief for years afterward.” Still, Dyksen recognized the importance of politics in forming pro-life policy.
She Found His Grace seeks to acknowledge and address the conflicting emotions present following from a Christian perspective. She explained, “[W]e create a safe place to name them, examine them in light of Scripture, grieve what has been lost, take responsibility where appropriate, and begin separating shame from conviction. Biblical conviction draws us toward repentance and restoration. Shame tells us to hide and believe we are permanently defined by what we have done. Those are very different messages.”
“The goal is freedom … [w]e want people to reach a place where abortion is part of their testimony, but it is no longer the defining identity of their lives. We have watched God take stories filled with shame and use them to bring healing, purpose, and hope to other people,” she concluded.
She Found His Grace is anticipating the opening of their Redemption House, a residential abortion recovery program located in Bremen, Indiana. The program is for women going through recovery and “need a deeper level of healing and an opportunity to step away from the noise and pressures of everyday life.” This program is expected to begin in April 2027.
Students at the University of Notre Dame facing an unplanned pregnancy can seek support and confidential assistance at the Family Resource Center.
Rylen Lastrella is a junior studying in the Program of Liberal Studies and theology. He wants to remind readers to pray for the Holy Souls in purgatory, and to visit the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament often. He can be reached at rlastrel@nd.edu