CHEERS

Claire’s Engagement– The Rover’s own Claire Gillen is engaged to be married. Originally, this was actually going to be included in the “Jeer” section. Because, let’s face it, with Claire now essentially off the market, the pool of smart, attractive, pleasant, and not engaged/married girls has lost one of its most distinguished members. However, unlike Orual, we were able to overcome our selfish impulses and came to the realization that if Claire is happy, so are we. So from everyone here at The Rover, congratulations, Nick and Claire! We’d also like to remind the bride-to-be that in accordance with time-honored matrimonial customs, the co-worker who (telepathically) helped your fiancé pick out your engagement ring should receive the distinct honor of putting together the musical selection for your wedding reception. On a completely unrelated note, Michael Bublé is awesome.

Wisconsin- That Wisconsin is the greatest state in the union is already a well-documented fact. It’s got awesome dairy products, is the birthplace of the ButterBurger, and is also the home state of legends like Chris Farley and Chester Commodore, a man who, despite the fact that we have no idea what his accomplishments include, has possibly the sweetest name ever. Seriously, what’s not to like? Nothing. In fact, in recent times there’s even more to like about Wisconsin. The Green Bay Packers, America’s only community-owned major sports franchise, are just 60 minutes away from winning their 13th world championship. And Representative Ryan Paul, economic wunderkind, delivered a sizzling response to the president’s State of the Union Address. Needless to say, it’s a good time to be a Badger.

The Hyundai Snow Bowl– What can I say? Everything about it was great. Let me just list a few things I loved.  For those who were also there, apparently geography has nothing to do with meteorology when Notre Dame travels as a contingent. Also, I didn’t go looking for trouble in Juarez (thanks for the emails, Fr. Doyle) and trouble in Juarez didn’t come looking for me. Tex-Mex is a fabulous cuisine that I’ve been missing in my life for far too long.  Oh, and you want to talk about the game? Well, judging from the “Stay Puft” marshmallow man suits Miami had on, they must have raided the local Macy’s and bought out their entire stock of long underwear. This was almost one of those “could do no wrong” games. We ran really well and passed decently, and I think Harrison Smith was even Miami’s leading receiver. But most importantly, Lee Greenwood performed “God Bless the USA” at halftime. I love the man and I don’t even have a second favorite Lee Greenwood song because that one is enough for me.

JEERS

The Real World– Being a senior in college is nice. You don’t have to wake up before noon, you only attend classes four days a week, and all the underclassmen worship you and think you’re really cool (let’s face it, you are). However, don’t be deceived. The fun and games is about to end, and soon. Because with each passing day, graduation, a.k.a. the Real World, approaches. I liken it to a captive of the Aztecs being fed the finest foods just before he is led by the priests to the top of the temple complex and his heart is ripped out while it’s still beating. And that analogy probably isn’t graphic enough. But if that’s what fate has in store for us, then so be it. This writer, for one, is going to live it up while he still has the chance… by taking 19 credits. Oh yeah.

MTV – The Music Television Network, a misnomer in its own right, is really too easy to pick on. I don’t think anyone’s taken it seriously since that whole Tila Tequila deal. Or maybe since 1990. No matter, the network is attempting to become relevant again with one of the oldest tricks in the book: sex! And not your typical smuttiness (rap music videos and Britney Spears school girl outfits), but this time in the form of a television series called Skins. The show portrays a group of teenagers that smoke more drugs and have more sex then a pack of rabbits with a coke addiction. Some of the actors involved, including those that have been shot nude, also happen to be underage. And despite the fact that ratings are declining and advertisers are bailing, MTV is standing by the show. Maybe that will change once charges for child pornography are filed.

Randall Terry for President—You probably thought he was dead, or that he’d crawled back into the swamp of spite from whence he’d emerged nearly two years prior to terrorize Notre Dame’s campus.  But no, Mr. Terry reared his head at the March for Life in order to promote his very promising) presidential campaign and also to chastise incessantly Notre Dame students for an event that occurred before most of them were even enrolled at the university. Look, it’s not that we disagree with Terry’s stance. Abortion is abhorrent and should be abolished and outlawed. We get this. We just aren’t fans of Mr. Terry’s approach, namely, high jacking demonstrations and turning them into circuses. Also, we’re not sure if a man who’s divorced and who’s disowned half of his children is really the best spokesperson for the pro-life movement.