JEERS

-BIC Disposable Razors

Don’t be deceived by the cute little mascot, with his shiny black head and his bright yellow coat…BIC disposable razors are the mini-hacksaws of Satan.  They’re more proficient at ripping apart flesh than they are at cutting hair. I used a BIC disposable razor just ONCE and it looked like I’d just survived a shark attack. Honestly, I could get a less painful shave using a rusty machete.

-Phone chargers

When I “misplace” my phone charger, it should not be essentially impossible for me to locate a temporary substitute. Seriously, why does every single make and model need to have its own uniquely shaped charging device? This isn’t the key to a car or the password to a personal computer—it’s something that gets energy from the wall into my battery. That’s it. There’s really no need to have 138 varieties of chargers, each with their own intricate designs, different simply for the sake of being different. Seems like personalization run amok. Maybe I should just conform already and get an iPhone.

–Buildings

Love is a fickle thing some say, and I’m beginning to see why. Only a couple months ago, I was singing the praises of every edifice on campus as I clung to their heated interiors like a babe to his mother’s bosom.  I didn’t see how my life would’ve been possible without the likes of DeBart and Dillon shielding me from the snow and sub-zero temps. But now that a Siberianesque winter has been replaced by a San Diego-like spring, I look upon them with utter disdain. Once my protectors, now they’re simply unnecessary, unnatural, man-made obstacles preventing me from enjoying the golden sunshine on my skin, like God intended—kind of like clothes.

CHEERS

-Obscure schools from Minnesota that are good at hockey

Everyone has a weakness. Babies have that weird self-destruct button on the top of their heads. That Charlie Sheen guy has an unhealthy fondness for “snow.” And apparently otherwise insignificant schools from the land of 10,000 lakes are the bane of Notre Dame hockey. For the second time in three years, the Fighting Irish have been ousted from the NCAA tournament by a Minnesotan team that only 155 people on campus had previously been aware of.  And while I do consider myself a fan of Notre Dame hockey, if someone had to knock off the Irish, I’m glad it was a school from the backwoods of ‘Sota, my old stomping grounds. So Beavers of Bemidji and ‘Dawgs of Duluth, I salute you.

-Friends of THE ROVER doing cool stuff

Well, since you’re reading our paper, you probably already know that ROVER people are pretty awesome. I mean, who else would devote their Saturday night to writing articles on such topics as campus architecture and South Bend sociology? But believe it or not, our FRIENDS do cool things, too! For example, John Gerardi’s fiancé, Holly, has put together a portfolio of photographs exploring how Catholic women have viewed themselves throughout history (callandchallenge.org). And if visual art isn’t your thing, how about some mesmerizing melodies? EIC Gabby Speach’s roommate, Rebecca, will be performing works from the likes of Mozart, Chopin, and Bublé at her junior piano recital this coming Sunday at 4:00 PM in the Snite Museum. If you go, tell ‘em The Rover sent you.

Jonathan Liedl is a senior in the Dill.