Notre Dame announced in a press release its purchase of the home of the mayor of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg. The purchase was made for an undisclosed amount of money.

Executive Vice President John Affleck Graves wrote in the release the rationale behind the decision: “There’s no reason, really, for the purchase. We just could, so we did.”

James Rahner is a junior Philosophy and Theology major. James has been described as “the saddest man I’ve ever met.” Please do not contact him.