After five years and 34 articles for the Rover, there’s still quite a list of headlines and ideas I never got to publish:
Let Me Air My McGrievances
A critical view of ND’s provost
Students Rally In Force for ICE Mass
Anti-immigrationists feel “disappointed and tricked”
Observer and Rover Conspiracy Revealed
Newspapers publish the exact same stories with different headlines, no one notices
New Catholic Administrators Hired by DEI Initiative
Catholics in ND administration considered “endangered minority”
StuGov Hosts Red, Yellow, and Green Excellence Dinners
For students with sunburns, jaundice, and hangovers, respectively
Baraka Bouts Sued Over “Diverse” Male Participant
“Ouch, that hurt!” says top female competitor
Campus-Wide Ban on Pornography Fails Again
Dome cites academic freedom for “legitimate academic research”
Fr Greg Haake Named VP of “World Domination” by Barron
Children of Mary, Militia of the Immaculata gear up for crusade
Arts & Letters Starts New “Vice President” Major
Prepares students for one of ND’s thousands of “VP of” jobs
Irish for Reproductive Health Distribute Firearms on Campus
ND Administration still does nothing about it
ND Marketing Becomes “DepartmeND of BraNDing”
Running out of words with “nd” in them
Medieval Institute Tailgates Escalate, Desperate for Attention
Now features live executions and stretching on the rack
Astronomy Tenures “Flat-Earther,” PLS Hires Illiterate “Scholar”
In the spirit of diverse “academic inquiry”
Provost McGreevy Asked to Define “Catholic Character”
“Uhhhhh…like Georgetown?”
James Whitaker is a graduate student in the theology department. He is very grateful for his five years with the Rover, most of all because it was how he became friends with the love of his life. You can send them congratulations on their upcoming wedding at jwhitak5@nd.edu and hgarecht@nd.edu.