Vice President for facilities design Douglas Marsh made an announcement Wednesday that the long-anticipated Dome 2.0 will finally begin construction June 2020 with the expectation that it will be completed in time for graduation weekend 2021.

Dome 2.0 will “enhance Notre Dame’s identity as an insular institution” by completely enclosing campus in an expansive helm of opulence. The 845 story, 1.6 mile-tall dome will, in the words of Marsh, “illuminate the South Bend/Mishawaka area like a second Sun, beautiful and terrible.”

When asked about the motivations of the project, Marsh further stated that “as part of our efforts to make Notre Dame an elite academic institution and global Force for Good, the board of trustees determined that it would be necessary to construct ‘a beacon to heaven, rising above the earth like the flaming crown of Jehovah.’ This fits the bill.”

When asked about potential downsides to the project, Marsh made clear that all issues had already been thought through.

“During the planning phase, some were concerned that blotting out the Sun on campus would negatively impact students. Focus groups clarified, however, that students don’t go outside much anyways during the long South Bend winter. In any case, St. Liam’s has that light therapy thing if any Florida kids really feel like they need sunlight.”

Marsh nevertheless maintained an optimistic tone.

“If we meet our alumni donation stretch goals by the end of this year,” Marsh stated, “we may be able to enclose Eddy Street and St. Mary’s as well.”