Film promotes childfree feminism
As part of its “Because Gender” film series, the Gender Studies Program hosted a screening of the movie My So-Called Selfish Life on November 13 in Geddes Hall.
The purpose of the film, according to its website, is to delve “into the social pressures and judgment women face around motherhood,” while also examining “how the growing childfree movement is reshaping what it means to live a fulfilling life.” The film also celebrates “the right to choose the lives that are best for us, because when we have control over our reproductive futures, powerful things happen.”
The “Because Gender” series aims to “bring more attention to filmmakers who actively intervene in the traditional identity politics of film production, especially women and members of the LGBTQ+ community,” according to the Gender Studies website.
My So-Called Selfish Life is the third in a series of documentaries directed by Therese Schechter aimed at “investigating all that is considered sacred about womanhood.” Schechter, the founder of production company Trixie Films, is a filmmaker and speaker dedicated to using “humor, social commentary, and personal storytelling to explore a host of thorny questions around women’s roles and identities.”
Trixie Films claims to be run by “unapologetic feminists who are fluent in both pop culture and today’s most pressing gender issues.” In addition to My So-Called Selfish Life, the company also produced the two other films in Schechter’s series, I Was A Teenage Feminist and How To Lose Your Virginity.
The film My So-Called Selfish Life presents a compilation of the stories of multiple women who chose not to have children, alongside a series of interviews guided by Schechter, who speaks with various women about their lifestyles and also narrates her own history of choosing to be “childfree.” A common theme around the women interviewed was their frustration with what they perceive as societal pressures to have children.
Orna Donath, a sociologist, tells the audience, “We [society] think if women have the right circumstances, there’s no way they would regret motherhood, because women are ‘natural mothers.’ But women have different desires, even if we have the same reproductive organs.”
Others in the film speak about being labeled as “selfish” for their choice to be childfree, a theme which remains throughout the movie and is the inspiration for the film’s title. One woman interviewed by Schechter in the documentary asks, “What’s wrong with being selfish? Why is that a problem for you?”
In another part of the movie, New York artist and rapper Shanthony Exum talks about her choice to remain childfree and claims that motherhood does not necessarily lead to happiness: “I am childfree right now. I plan to be childfree in the future. I view my art as my children, and I’m very selfish with my time, and I know having a child is such a big responsibility.”
Exum continues, “Like, you can get married and have kids, and still have a garbage life. Or you can just be like me, twerking around Brooklyn, and be having a pretty okay life.” As Exum finishes speaking, the film plays a lyric from one of her songs: “I’m alone, I love myself, so alone, it’s fun as hell.”
Schechter also interviews OB/GYNs and abortion providers, including Kristyn Brandi, an abortion doctor who works as Board Chair for Physicians for Reproductive Health. Brandi has become an active advocate of increasing accessibility for sterilization of young women, despite citing her colleagues’ hesitation toward the practice. Brandi says in the movie, “I find it really frustrating that many of my patients have jumped through multiple hoops to see me to get a sterilization.”
My So-Called Selfish Life also celebrates non-traditional family units. The film features Shanna and her partner Leo, who was born female but now identifies as a male. As the two help out at a high school “Queer Prom,” Shanna remarks, “This is our community. This is our family. Family is family however you make it, and this is how we made ours.”
Continuing with the theme of inclusion, the film ends with Schechter reiterating her message, asking, “What do we need to thrive, to know love, to be a family, to grow old with joy? In a world that’s open and full of possibility, we can imagine different lives because self-invention is not only possible, it’s necessary.”
After the film screening, Schechter answered questions from the audience. Asked about the Catholic Church’s relationship to motherhood and childbearing, she responded, “Every religion, to some extent, encourages people to have children. … So I guess that I would universally say, please, let people live their own lives and make their own decisions.”
In an interview with the Rover, Schechter also remarked on her lifestyle being viewed as selfish, saying, “Why would they assume that that’s what my life looks like, that I don’t care about other people? I mean, that’s kind of a silly assumption, to approach someone and make all these decisions about their life without ever having spoken to them or knowing what their life looks like.”
While there were fewer than 15 undergraduate students who attended the film, multiple Notre Dame faculty members were present and offered their comments to the Rover. Bryan Lemmerman, a Housing and Community Regeneration Senior Professional at the university, told the Rover, “I would say experiencing a film like this is empowering for personal freedom and choice in this life. … That aligns with the university’s mission of educating and empowering people and opening their minds.”
Lemmerman’s colleague, Angelica Ketcham, expressed her thoughts on the film, saying, “I think it’s important for a film like this to be seen by multiple generations at the same time because a lot of tension around the issue of reproduction and reproductive justice comes from generational conversations, especially within families.”
Not all viewers, however, reacted positively to the film. A sophomore in Pasquerilla East Hall told the Rover, “I do not think that a department at Notre Dame should be sponsoring a film promoting LGBTQ relationships and abortion. Notre Dame prides itself on being Catholic, but there have been several instances that they have acted against their purported Catholic values, this being one of them.”
The student went on to say, “As a young woman growing up in today’s society, I feel as if society doesn’t see motherhood as the precious gift that it is. It also treats fertility as a disease, pushing the birth control pill on girls as soon as they get their periods, as if their cycle isn’t a normal thing, but something that needs to be controlled through artificial means.”
Representatives from the Gender Studies Program did not respond to requests for comment.
Though the next film in the “Because Gender” series has not yet been scheduled, the Gender Studies Program will continue to host similar events this semester, including an upcoming one-person show titled Shakespeare and the Alchemy of Gender.
Abby Strelow is a freshman theology major who loves tea, discalced religious orders, and South Carolina farmers markets. You can reach her at astrelow@nd.edu.
Photo Credit: Notre Dame Gender Studies Program
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