Notre Dame men should take up a special responsibility
A mere quarter century ago, I published a simple book entitled Keeping the Faith, Making a Difference. It was a collection of various talks and homilies I had given during the decade of the 1990s. The book treated some rather basic ideas and practices in Christian belief and life, and it was aimed primarily at Catholic college students and recent graduates. I initially addressed some important aspects of Christian faith and discipleship, and am glad to report that I devoted a chapter to the Real Presence. I also addressed a number of more personal issues that had been raised to me by students back in that long-ago era. I did my best to offer some useful counsel on topics such as friendship, love and sex, marriage, and facing suffering.
One of my favorites among those chapters was entitled “True Men.” Reading over the essay in light of all that has taken place in these past 25 years reveals a certain “period piece” quality to it. (Few priests reference Saving Private Ryan or The Simpsons these days!) But in that far-away time, I aimed to contest the negative portrayal of men in the broad culture as “either immature, manipulative, and cruel, or as weak and superfluous.” I also tried to counter a broader sense that masculinity had become eviscerated and stripped of connotations of strength and goodness.
Rather predictably, I suppose, I offered Christian manhood as a counter, suggesting that true men discovered their best selves by adopting a life of service and responsibility. They could only unlock their true and best self by discerning how they must live for others. My brief essay on Christian manhood had a rather limited impact, although perhaps it was of some benefit to those of my former students who chose to read it. Nonetheless, as one looks over the landscape of the past quarter-century, one cannot help but notice that confusion still prevails regarding what authentic manhood should mean.
I had no sense of the challenges that Internet technology and, in particular the blight of online pornography, would present to young men back in 2000, when Keeping the Faith was published. I didn’t discern well how guys would be burdened with anxieties about making firm commitments and entering into true and loving relationships. Obviously, I had no idea that there would be all kinds of false and sometimes damaging “answers” provided to aid young men to reach a certain maturity. I hardly keep up with such movements as the “New Stoicism” or the repugnant “influencer” Andrew Tate and his ilk. Yet, it saddens me when I hear that young men turn to such guidance (if it can be called that). Obviously there have been better and more constructive voices, such as that of Jordan Peterson, coming to the aid of young men and calling them to take responsibility for their actions. But there is a certain limit to what even such a thoughtful guide as Peterson can offer.
Dare I suggest as I now enter into my “recalibration years” here on campus that the thoughts I offered 25 years ago might still have some relevance for today? Then, I submitted that college is the arena in which young males can grow into being men, or decide not to. We know well that there are “demons and dragons,” addictions and temptations of various sorts, that lie in wait for young men during their college years. They are, of course, much more subtle than fighting either wild beasts or ugly monsters, as in classic tales. But they are just as dangerous and they must be wrestled with and defeated. At a school like Notre Dame, young men must take advantage of the opportunities to strengthen their character and to exercise those practices that exemplify a true man—telling the truth, discerning what is right and courageously doing it, standing up for the weaker ones, going to the aid of those in need. They must learn well especially about respecting women and moving beyond the callous behavior that treats young women as mere sexual objects.
In order to do this, a man must not only rely on himself; he must deepen his brotherhood with other good men and rely on the encouragement and example of true men who can lead the way. Most of all, a Christian man must deepen his relationship with the Lord. Too often at Notre Dame, men can treat their religious practice as something like an avocation—something that brings one to the chapel for a nice Mass on a Sunday night—but true men will move beyond a superficial attachment to their faith and follow the Lord at a deeper level, understanding well that this will at times involve the cross.
True Christian men are needed more than ever in our challenging times which are so dominated by the forces of materialism, individualism and secularism. Regrettably, there can be a tendency after graduates leave Notre Dame for them to drift away from their practice of the faith. But beyond Notre Dame, young, faith-filled Catholic men are needed to boldly bear witness to the truths that may be unpopular among those who control the levers of cultural power, but which are essential for a decent and good society. My hope and prayer, of course, is that Notre Dame men will be especially willing to stand strong in fighting for what is right and good.
As I look back over my decades of teaching at Notre Dame, I am glad to report that I know many such good Notre Dame men, who are now married and building families of their own and helping contribute in their communities. The world needs more of them, to be sure. But I sense positive developments on our campus and we should acknowledge and give thanks for them. On a more personal level, we have the example of the courageous Rover editors who stood strong for the truth in their reporting, despite being subjected to a lawsuit. On a broader level, I am impressed with the high participation in men’s hall retreats and the desire they reveal for participants to deepen and strengthen their faith. Such men realize that we are all engaged in a battle of sorts and that our true calling is a demanding one. Christian manhood is all about heroic self-giving in order to provide for those who depend on you or will depend on you—your own family, your community, your church, and your society.
Real men at Notre Dame should take up a special responsibility of preparing themselves to be good husbands and fathers. In doing so, they will truly be making a valuable contribution in our society. Good husbands and fathers are desperately needed in our times. As Ryan Anderson, president of the Ethics and Public Policy Center (and also a wonderful husband and father), wrote recently in First Things, “The root cause of virtually all of our social problems is the collapse of marriage and family following the sexual revolution.” In shaping a good society, hopefully much can be done on a broader level with a re-emphasis on building up the family as the key unit of society, as Vice President J. D. Vance recommended in his talk at the March for Life rally. But strong families will only result if there is a good man ready to serve as a devoted husband and father. Preparing for these crucial roles should be as important for Notre Dame men as attending to their course of studies. The need for such men has only grown during these past 25 years. But it is the men who truly keep the faith who, in the end, will make all the difference.
Fr. Bill Miscamble, C.S.C. is a professor emeritus in the Department of History and serves on the Rover’s faculty advisory board.
Photo Credit: Matthew Rice
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