1. Go Irish! Beat Bulls!

2. The Dallas Mavericks – I know it’s been quite some time since Dirk and company brought the 2011 NBA title home to Dallas, but I thought I’d take some time once again to congratulate them for saving my summer. Just like I root for the Red Sox and anyone who beats the Yankees, I also root for the Celtics and anyone who beats anything/anyone associated with LeBron James.  If you and LeBron were in the barbershop, I would root for you to get a better haircut than him. If you and LeBron shopped at the same grocery store, I would root for you to get the last free sample and him to get nothing. If you don’t feel the same way, listen to his post-NBA championship loss comments: “All the people that were rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today.” For real, LeBron? It sounds like you’re going to have the same personal problem today and tomorrow, namely that everyone still despises you.

3. Best joke of the summer – You’re in the laundromat doing your laundry next to LeBron James. You realize that there’s no change machine and that all you have are one dollar bills. So you turn to him and ask, “Mr. James, can you make change for a dollar?” He sifts around and finds 75 cents but then looks at you and replies “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t seem to find a fourth quarter.” Ask a basketball fan.

4. Harry Potter – So, my friends tell me that they may have detected a tear from me following the credits of the HP7.2 movie. I can confirm their suspicions. And if you weren’t also getting that “Oh my goodness my childhood is over!” sensation, I would have to categorize you as a new class of human being. Take my older sister, for example. She never did the “Harry Potter thing,” as she refers to it. Nonetheless, when my sister came from out of town to visit me in D.C. this summer, I took her with my friends to see the movie. I thought maybe she’d enjoy the movie, but instead, what was she doing? TEXTING! I don’t get upset when people text during class, while eating dinner with me, or even while driving. But this incensed me so much that I took her phone away from her. Ron, Harry, Hermione, Hagrid, Dumbledore, and Snape:  I love you all!


1. What were you thinking? – In the Chattanooga area on Monday, a man decided to escape his burning car and save his five children by calmly pulling over. Sounded great to me until I read that he picked the worst possible place to pull over or rather pull up: next to a pump at the Mapco Mart and gas station. Now, I’m in chemical engineering, but I’d wager a year’s worth of tuition that you don’t need to know about phase diagrams or heats of reaction to figure this one out. I mean, I’m grateful that he saved his kids, but I’m sure little Johnny some point later in life is going to ask Dad, “What were you thinking?!” No one was harmed in the making of this “How did that possibly work out the way it did” story.

2. B1 block party – Okay, so some will say this should be a cheer, but I’m pretty much convinced this was an epic waste of time. Following the volleyball game (vs. Idaho) I decided to get in “line” for a ticket. I don’t know what was more ridiculous:  the crowd of people pushing the trailer, or just the idea of issuing tickets from a small unlit trailer in the dark. That’s not the whole of it though. So, once I got in, it seemed pretty relaxed, until I realized that $10 didn’t by me a drink, a sandwich, or anything. I moved on to the bungy jumping station, hoping to console myself with a few sweet bounces. Nope. Wrong. I guess that I’m just too big of a dude according to their restrictions. Next, I laughingly pushed aside the idea of conquering/falling off the rock tower, also in the dark. So, naturally I thought this Girl Talk dude must be worth $10. Also incorrect.  Admittedly, I didn’t know what he did or where he performed prior to this concert, but I’m pretty sure I could have done that in my basement. Then he really upped the ante by taking off his shirt and yelling, “G.D. Notre Dame, y’all know how to throw a party!” It was like watching Mitch Hedburg trying to make music.

3. Safe Auto – June 08, 2011, was like any other morning for me on my way to the Metro Station in Fairfax, VA. I biked the usual route from my house to the metro station including passing through the crosswalk near the metro station. The only difference this time was that instead of the vehicle stopping at the light prior to taking a right on red, the driver stopped once she crunched me. Initially, I thought I was fine, which I mostly was, until I realized that I couldn’t stop laughing. I guess I was in shock that I had actually been hit by “one of those drivers” my relatives and I joke about. So after that fact, I thought that getting a new bike and being reimbursed for my lack of transportation to the metro station would be pretty simple. Wrong! There was the usual paperwork, and then the representative proceeded to tell me that unless I lost money or spent money as a result of the accident he couldn’t do anything. As a result, I didn’t get a new bike (they wouldn’t cover that high of a cost) or reimbursement for my inconvenience. Now I wish I’d taken a taxi to and from the metro everyday and then mailed them a bunch of receipts. The moral of the story is that if you get involved in an auto accident, make sure you’re also in a CAR.