Do their arguments stand on solid ground?

A recent protest by an emergent student group was shut down in front of the Jordan Hall of Science last Monday. The group, named Students for Global Truth (SGT), was robbed of their first amendment right as officers forcefully broke up their peaceful demonstration.

The students held signs with messages such as “We Want The Truth” and “The Science Is Clear.” An estimated 200 students joined in the protest, and the chant “Drift, shift, it’s all a myth!” could be heard all the way at DeBartolo Hall.

What exactly were the students protesting? According to the Students for Global Truth leader Terra Bunk, the demonstration aimed to spread the truth about Pangea. “We are just trying to wake people up to the establishment’s lies,” said Bunk.

Pangea is the name of the alleged supercontinent that existed hundreds of millions of years ago and contained all of the Earth’s land mass. Pangea radicals believe that the seven continents we know today come from pieces of Pangea breaking apart and spreading out, a process called continental drift. Students for Global Truth begs to differ.

The group’s website offers the following “rock solid” debunking: “Let’s look at the facts. For instance, why would all the land start out in one spot? You’re telling me that the whole globe was ocean except that one clump of land? Then it just ‘drifted’ apart? Sounds more like a continental grift to me.”

The debunking continues: “Have you ever felt this supposed ‘continental drift?’ If these ‘continents’ were moving so much, how would we not feel them moving beneath us? I’ll tell you why. Corrupt oligarchs are maliciously spreading these shifty ideas so that they can exploit you for your money. They want you to think that these tectonic ‘fakes’ are constantly moving, so you’re too scared to buy oceanfront properties.”

To combat the supposed misinformation about plate tectonics, Students for Global Truth has sold over 1,500 “Pangea Denier” t-shirts to the Notre Dame student body. One student protester commented, “I am really proud that my generation is finally putting a stop to these blatant lies.”

In response to the student protest, Notre Dame issued a statement reaffirming its commitment to academic freedom and open dialogue: “We defend this freedom even when the content of the demonstration is objectionable to some or even many.”

In spite of the backlash from administration, SGT remains steadfast in their mission to correct the falsehoods about Pangea. They plan to host a series of lectures featuring renowned Pangea-Truthers, like Ann T. Science, the award-winning author of “The Great Divide: Shifting the Narrative on the Pangea Hoax.”

While local law enforcement may have silenced these students for now, Students for Global Truth stand strong with their earth-shattering message. Whether you’re a continental conformist or a Pangea denier, one thing is certain—these students won’t rest until they shatter the mainstream narrative into pieces.

Ayden Ellis is a junior studying chemical engineering. He spends his free time working on his 9-foot-tall wooden hamster wheel for his Youtube channel “Ayden’s Workshop.” To book an appointment on the wheel, email aellis7@nd.edu

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