Colin Devine, Humor Guru
Cheer—Watches. If you’re getting tired of pulling your phone out of your pocket to “check the time” when you are subconsciously checking how many people shared your recent Instagram photo of your feet on the beach, a watch could be for you.
Cheer—Hats with the awesome loopy thingys. If Chuck Norris were a student at Notre Dame, he would wear one of those hats.
Cheer—The fact that anyone in any movie not about Americans or aliens speaks in a British accent. This should probably be a jeer, but I just love it so much.
Jeer—Talking about the weather (for more than 60 seconds). We’ve all done it, but that doesn’t make it any easier to walk behind two people on South Quad and hear a 7-minute lament about the lack of sunlight. There’s a whole world of conversation topics out there just waiting for you.
Jeer—Bikes in trees. Where’s the creativity? Were I not afraid of being blamed for any future bike-related adventures, I would give a long list of more creative places to stash a friend’s (or an enemy’s) bike, but the whole tree thing is so 13th grade.
Jeer—VHS tapes. Think how many VHS tapes right now, this very minute, are sitting in closets, cars, safe deposit boxes, landfills and old gift bags just taking up space. Disney should make a new edition of Toy Storythat only features forgotten VHS tapes as the main characters. The VHS of the original Toy Storycould be the main character—see what I did there?
Colin Devine desperately wants to see either Toy Story or some movie featuring British accents. If you can find a version of Toy Story wherein Woody uses a British Accent, he’ll buy you a hat with the loopy thingys. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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