The decline of authentic feminism in modern culture

 

As someone who has worn glasses since before she could walk, I have always found Dorothy Parker’s famous quote, “men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses,” quite offensive.

At some point during my teenage years, I discovered that the comment should not be taken literally and that what Ms. Parker was actually trying to say is that men have never found intelligent women attractive.  I would say that I gladly realized this, if it weren’t for the fact that the actual meaning of the line is even more disturbing than the literal one.

The 20th-century women’s liberation front has wrongly led most girls born at the end of the last millennium, like myself, to believe that bright women were not able to show their true colors (i.e., their smartness) prior to the outburst of feminism; any sign of female intelligence has always been (and will always be) a threat to mankind.

Please do not misunderstand me. To obtain women’s rights, it was necessary to put up a fight.  How could it have ever been acceptable that women had to put on pants and get a job while men could forever escape putting on household gloves and start doing chores?  On what grounds were women to be denied their voice and their right to vote?

What I am saying is simply that brainy women have always existed, even before the feminist front. Female intelligence, contrary to Dorothy Parker’s legendary citation and popular belief, is (and has always been) incredibly appealing.

Ironically, it is harder to find evidence of this universal truth in modern-day books and their protagonists (like Anastasia Steele of Fifty Shades of Grey) than in 19th-century classics and their heroines (such as Elizabeth Bennet of Pride and Prejudice).

The Fifty Shades of Grey saga is a cliché of a contemporary love story plot, seasoned with a lot of very painful sex (and grammar so basic that it is even more excruciating than the sex).  The book starts off with your typical “oh-so-sexy-boy meets such-a-hot-girl, boy falls madly in love with girl” scenario.  Its foundation is a heart-throbbing, intense, uncontrollable physical attraction between Christian Grey and Anastasia.

Enter Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice.  To the contrary, he does not find Elizabeth Bennet attractive upfront.  He states that “she is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.”  Elizabeth is aware of this and appears to be comfortable with such knowledge (“my beauty you had early withstood,” she tells him).  A lesser woman would not have been able to cope with such a fact; however, Elizabeth can since she truthfully understands that there are finer things in life than trivial matters such as good looks.  When Darcy and Elizabeth talk about the development of their love at the end of the book, he confesses to have fallen for her due to “the liveliness” of her mind.

Elizabeth is portrayed as a social inferior to Darcy in a time when marriage to someone with lesser status was almost inconceivable.  Miss Bingley, our heroine’s snobbish and superficial antagonist, was a much better match for him.  However, when Miss Bingley realizes that Mr. Darcy has no interest in her list of accomplishments, she attempts to win him over by seeming smart and bookish (like Elizabeth).  There is an amazing scene in the book in which Miss Bingley pathetically resorts to picking out the second volume of the book Darcy is reading, and loudly states that, “I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book!—When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.”

Elizabeth’s disdain for unions based on physical or material matters (i.e., founded on lust –which is Elizabeth’s sister’s, Lydia, case– or on financial security –which is Elizabeth’s friend, Charlotte’s, story) and her permanent pursuit of happiness ends up landing her Darcy.  Elizabeth strives for so much more than what her society is willing to give her (women of her time depended on marriage to obtain social and economic security, something heavily criticized by Jane Austen with her comic tone).

This is the lesson we women living in Madonna’s Material World should remember.  Faith, endurance, intelligence, and acting according to such standards are finally paid out.  We are not trapped like women in Georgian times; we are not forced to marry in order to escape the consequences of entailment (which prevented women from inheriting).

Love is not a spur of the moment thing in Elizabeth’s and Darcy’s storyline.  Passion is not even a key ingredient or even the starting point of their relationship.  On the contrary, they both have to tame their ardent pride and prejudice to become aware of the feelings of love they feel for each other.  Even their declarations are more subtle and poetic than those of Christian Grey and Anastasia.  Darcy and Elizabeth are the epitome of a relationship based on more than just a fatal attraction.

Passionate, fiery, all-consuming relationships are just that: consuming.  I do not think lasting unions can be based on lust.  I’m sorry for being cynical, but I do not believe in love at first sight.  I do, however, have faith in what could be labeled as love at first laugh.  I believe in marriages based on love, kindness, and an overall meeting of the minds.

So move over, Christian Grey, I’m sticking with Darcy.  More importantly, off with you, Anastasia.  Even if you are a 21st-century gal, you are no role model.  Elizabeth will forever be proof that men actually do make passes at women who “wear glasses.”

Clara Minieri went to high school in Maryland.  She did her BA and her law degree at Universidad Catolica Argentina in Buenos Aires. Her favourite book is Pride and Prejudice and her favourite musical, ‘Wicked.’