Finding joy in the midst of ordinary life

 

Pope Benedict XVI begins his encyclical Deus Caritas Est writing: “[T]oday, the term ‘love’ has become one of the most frequently used and misused of words, a word to which we attach quite different meanings.”

The word “love” is thrown around so frivolously today that its true meaning has become lost to almost everyone.  We talk about love of possessions, love of work, and love of our neighbors as if these were all one and the same.  In doing so, we run the risk of losing true order in our lives, and we make it more difficult to find happiness.

Pope Benedict continues, “Amid this multiplicity of meanings, however, one in particular stands out: love between man and woman, where body and soul are inseparably joined and human beings glimpse an apparently irresistible promise of happiness.”  This love mirrors God’s love for us, and, through its vulnerability, allows for the creation of new life.

As cliché as it sounds, the kind of love that will make us happiest is that which we must become vulnerable to attain.  It is because of this vulnerability that this sort of love is often avoided.  We become scared of the sacrifice involved in truly loving, and other pleasures and distractions get in the way, partly to replace this love, but mostly in a futile attempt to forget about love.

Richard Curtis’ film About Time captures such a view of love and illustrates how an appreciation for those around us can bring order and joy into our lives.  The film’s theme is one of finding purpose through our vocations, and it shows that such purpose can reveal the beauty in ordinary life.

The premise of the film is simple.  Tim, the main protagonist, is told by his father on his 21st birthday that all of the men on his father’s side of the family have the ability to travel in time.  They cannot travel into the future or into any point in the past, but instead to any moment in their life that has already happened.

Tim’s father warns him that he should only use this power to pursue something worthwhile, as many of his ancestors lived rather empty lives in attempting to obtain only money or power.  Tim decides rather quickly what his pursuit will be: love and happiness.

Tim begins his journey in London, starting his career as a lawyer and living mostly as a recluse.  While he does not seem unhappy at this point, he lives each day just like the last and loses himself in his career like many people tend to do.  This life continues until he spontaneously agrees to go out with his best friend, Jay, and, in stunning chick-flick fashion, he meets the love of his life, a woman named Mary.

While his character does not change drastically, as soon as Mary enters the scene, Tim’s attitude towards life is altered.  Having found the love he so eagerly wanted, every aspect of his life is injected with newfound vigor and excitement.  He begins to use his time-traveling powers only to fix bad work at the office, or to take back awkward things said to strangers.  Instilled with new purpose, everything in Tim’s life falls into place.  Because his lifestyle actively begins to reflect his goals and priorities, he is happy.

This correlation of order and happiness is highlighted to a greater degree later in the film.  Tim’s father admits that he has actually held on to a more important family secret: his two-step process for finding happiness.  First, he says, go on with ordinary life, living it day by day just like anybody else.  Second, live every day again almost exactly the same way, the first time with all of the tensions and worries that prevent us from seeing the beauty in the world, and the second time noticing that beauty.

The movie goes on to show Tim living an ordinary, stressful day at work and then living it again with more focus, this time knowing exactly what will happen.  During this exercise, the movie captures exactly what Tim sees differently when he is no longer weighed down by his worries and fears.  He begins to appreciate even the small things around him.

His friend at work is pleased when Tim behaves with more kindness.  Tim pays attention the cashier at the deli, and he takes in the beauty of the courtroom he always works in.  He is no longer annoyed by the man playing music loudly on the train but rather finds joy in it.  He appreciates the little things the second time around, and because of this, both he and those around him are happier.

But he does not stop there.  Tim alters his dad’s secret, perfecting it in order to find even more joy.  He realizes that he does not need to repeat each day over again, or even travel back in time at all.  Instead, he lives each day as if he had deliberately traveled back in time just for that day, as if that day was worth living over and over again, regardless of the hardships that he faced.  This is a frequent message in dozens of films and books, but it is found most powerfully here.

A man with the ability to travel in time found true happiness not by masking over his mistakes and attaining all of the riches he could possibly dream of, but instead by making mistakes, by taking it day by day, by enjoying the little details of which life is composed.  He does not let challenges cloud his view of what is most important.  Through love and order, Tim found himself living as happily as any man could because, though he was not wealthy and famous, he had found purpose.

How often do we lose ourselves in our everyday lives and forget to realize how much beauty there is in the things around us?  About Time encourages the viewer to stop and meditate on everything done in a week, or even in a day, and not just superficially.  It makes one think: When was the last time I called my parents spontaneously to ask how everything was going?  When was the last time I looked at all that I have and felt grateful for it?

This movie reminds us to stop and look around and see the uniqueness of those around us and to see how much they care for us.  True beauty lies in all of God’s creation, if we take the time to notice.

José Martinez is a junior at Notre Dame, pursuing the joint major in philosophy and theology.  Contact him at jmarti41@nd.edu.