This week, groups of Notre Dame upperclassmen looked on with amusement as wave after wave of freshly admitted prospies began to arrive to view the university’s magnificent campus.  With chuckles of amusement, upperclassmen looked patronizingly upon the fresh-faced and rosy-cheeked high-schoolers. With all of the solemnity of 90-year-old war veterans, several of the upperclassmen reminisce about their days as young and innocent freshmen. They recounted how difficult life was for them, with the phrase “iPhone 6S” barely in their lexicon.

“I still remember my Motorola Razr,” said one world-weary senior. “Kids these days have it so easy with their smartphones and instant access to the World Wide Web. In my day, if we wanted to go on the Internet, we had to take out our dial up cable and connect to the modem.”

Several other seniors were quick to jump in, with one particularly proud girl loudly proclaiming, “If I were a freshman today, with all of their access to technology, why, I would have a 4.0 GPA right now. Maybe even better!”

However, not all members of the group were so eager to wax poetic about the subject of their own collective maturity. Taking a particularly strange track, one junior decided to comment on the awe and admiration the new students demonstrated toward Notre Dame’s historic landmarks.

“I just can’t stand it when prospective students get so excited by seeing the grotto for the first time,” he said.  “I just want them to be like the rest of us who completely take those things for granted.”

A loud chorus of “Here, here!” rose from the group in response to this particularly pithy statement.

“I mean, looking at the dome is nice and all,” said the junior, “but I get far more excited by my weekly Chipotle trip.”

When last seen by this reporter, the group was fondly reminiscing about how back in their day, they had to walk four miles in order to get to class. Uphill both ways, and through the snow, of course.

Declan Feeley is a senior theology and finance double major whose interests include writing and investment theory. Declan can be contacted by email at