After the recent announcement of Mike Pence as the 2017 commencement speaker, many students expressed their anger and resentment towards the administration for inviting Pence. These students argued that Pence’s controversial views towards hot topic social issues made him unsuitable to address a graduating class from diverse political and cultural backgrounds. In a stunning turn of events, the administration has bowed to this pressure and has rescinded their invitation towards Pence. In his place: Jeb Bush. The Rover sent out reporters to question protestors about the suitability of Bush as a replacement for Pence. Junior Jack Daniels responded to our questions, stating, “Jeb Bush you say? Do I support him? Ummm…I’m not sure? Could you tell me some of his positions on, say, anything?” Attempting to find a more knowledgeable member of the group, Rover reporters were unable to find any protesters who knew anything about Bush as a person, his positions, or even if he was the father, son, or brother of George Bush. Hoping to find a more informed audience, the Rover turned to the Young Republicans club for their response. Club member Ron Paulie stated, “Jeb Bush is a great man. Not only is he a Republican, but…Well, actually, that’s pretty much all there is to say.” When lasted checked upon, students were seen furiously googling “Who is Jeb Bush?”
Maybeline Grape is a campus writer for the Rover.