John Cochran, Humor Guru

Cheers

Pope Francis – Bear with me as I try not to sound like Bruce Buffer introducing a prizefighter, but here it goes: The new Pontiff (formerly Jorge Cardinal Bergoglio) hails from Argentina and is the first Jesuit as well as the first Latin American to assume the Papacy. He is known for his humility and concern for the poor.

The Ides of March – As I understand it, this is a synonym for the coming NCAA tournament. No? Well I’m certainly not suggesting we cheer the assassination of Julius Caesar. Regardless, March Madness is upon us…baby.

Rand Paul – Standing on the Senate floor for over 12 hours, Senator Paul filibustered the nomination of John Brennan to the CIA, an event believed to be precipitated by news of drones being designed for use against US citizens. The drone information comes at a time when the DHS has also been amassing armored vehicles and stockpiling an enormous amount of ammunition—a fact being strongly questioned by Congressman Leonard Lance. Looks like we still have some advocates on Capitol Hill after all…

Jeers-

Cyprus banks – …and any money or savings you may have saved therein. It was announced this past weekend that bank deposits on this already financially embittered Mediterranean island would be subject to taxation as part of an EU bailout. Understandably, Cypriots panicked and the stock market plummeted. And you thought US taxes were bad…

Google Glass – I’ve resisted corrective eyewear like the plague. Like Kenny Powers, I also hate computers. So for me, an abomination that includes internet access and bears structural similarities to half-spectacles (or a monocle, whatever suits your fancy), is clearly jeer-worthy. Besides, you’ll look like a Star Trek extra.

Forced abortions in China – The (recently released) number of abortions (in large part to enforce the controversial one-child policy) performed in the world’s most populous nation since 1971—330 million—dwarfs the number that is so frequently (and is rightly) lamented in the United States (55 million).