In a recent press release, the university administration announced its plan to expand its preexisting environmental protection initiative from Food Services to other sectors of the university.

At the beginning of the 2015-2016 school year, in the name of “going green,” Food Services’ Grab-n-Go system—meant to be a convenient and easy student alternative to a sit-down dining hall meal—announced its withdrawal of complimentary paper bags for its take-out items. Instead, students were advised to bring their own bags to Grab-n-Go.

“This plan has saved the university millions of dollars,” university president Father John Jenkins, CSC, told the Rover, “and it is helping to save the planet, too.

“In the same spirit,” Fr. Jenkins continued, “we are excited to announce that, beginning with the 2016-2017 academic year, the university will no longer be providing lighting in any academic buildings or residence halls on campus.”

According to the formal plan, outlined in the university’s official press release, this new policy “will ensure a brighter future for our planet.”

The university statement went on to say: “Though this shift in policy might require a bit of getting used to, we have the utmost confidence that this transition will be a smooth and painless process for the campus community. In lieu of university-provided lighting, we recommend that students bring their own flashlights, whale-oil lamps, or what-have-you to class in order to aid the university’s mission to protect the environment, whatever the cost.”

The press release closed by assuring all donors to the university that the lights inside the football stadium’s new box seats “will, of course, remain on.”