As the days get shorter and the classes feel longer, students begin to reflect on their lives. Many ask themselves: Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why must North Dining Hall always run out of ketchup? These are questions that everyone asks themselves at some point. In order to help you better examine your college life, I have composed a handy list of potential circumstances you might find yourself in. Can you choose the right answer?

Q1: Jenny is a freshman at Notre Dame who has decided to major in engineering. However, she realized that she actually likes to have fun in life. What should she do?

A) Drop engineering and become an Arts & Letters or Business major.

B) Continue to be an engineer until graduation, and then promptly become an interpretive dance teacher.

C) Work on a Chemistry Web Assign until she loses sight in one eye.

D) Accept that life is ultimately pointless, and that all efforts to the contrary are merely expressions of pointlessness is an uncaring and unfeeling universe that will eventually be consumed by a void of nothingness that will erase any history of accomplishment or meaning

Q2: James is a sophomore at Notre Dame who has three tests this week on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. He needs to study at least five hours for each test to get a passing grade, and those five hours need to be solely dedicated to studying. Knowing that he is an ordinary college student, how many hours should he block off each day in order to get those five quality hours?

A) None—Lily is having some friends over to her room Sunday night, and he can’t say no to her.

B) 15 minutes before the test—furiously scanning six weeks worth of notes while he sobs quietly in the corner.

C) 1 hour—studying is overrated, he’s sure he can wing it.

D) 6 hours per day—really? Come on, don’t kid yourself.

Q3: Luke is a junior at Notre Dame who wants to eat healthily and exercise regularly. Yet he also loves pizza and sitting. What should he do?

A) Join an intramural team, go to the first practice, and then promptly ignore any future emails.

B) Attempt to eat nothing but salad for three days.

C) Go on a juice cleanse that doesn’t work.

D) Do nothing.

Q4: Fred is a senior at Notre Dame who has already been given a job offer. He believes in learning for the sake of learning, but he also likes sleeping. What should he do about his 8:15 a.m. class?

A) Go to the first few classes and then completely forget about it.

B) Set three different alarms, yet still manage to oversleep.

C) Attempt to get out of bed and get as far as the door.

D) Attend the class like a well-rounded and productive member of society.

Answer key: You won’t know until you try it. Hindsight is 20/20!

Declan Feeley is a senior theology and finance double major whose interests include writing and investment theory. Declan can be contacted by email at