Road to glory

Start of the 4th quarter, USC vs Notre Dame:

Two middle aged Notre Dame alumni in the stands

Man 1: So much has changed. New stadium, new seats, even feels like a new team is playing!

Man 2: Ha, you’re right! You know what’s missing from that lineup?

Man 1: What?

Man 2: A new coach!

Dogcrastination

Sunday night before classes start again, Starbucks line at LaFun:

“Ugh, getting ready to pull an all-nighter.” “Why, you had all of fall break to do that problem set.” “Y’know, my dog.” Girl nods sagely: “Dogs.”  

A true dilemma

A secluded booth in North Dining Hall:

Two friends are talking about their love life.

“I can’t believe he didn’t text me all fall break!” “Maybe he was busy?” “Yeah, right. When did getting an education and a ring by spring become impossible!”

Therese Konopelski is a sophomore PLS major whose minors are too wordy to list in any bio, as per usual Notre Dame style. To commiserate or contribute, contact her at tkonopel@nd.edu.