Go take advantage of time dilation?

The 10th floor in the Hesburgh Library at 3am:

A physics major raises his head from a textbook and slowly blinks his eyes open.

A nearby biology major: So, were you trying to absorb relativity by osmosis?
Physics major: No, but you should consider how relatively loud you are being.
Philosophy major: Relax, we’re all relatively fools sleeping in a library.

The pizza is worth it

A food line at South Dining Hall:

“It doesn’t make any sense. I’ll go 20 minutes out of my way for Chipotle, but I eat at South because it takes 5 minutes longer to get to North.” “We end up losing the time we save in these lines anyways.” “Y’all say that, but we all know we’ll be back here tomorrow.”

Can we switch to your major?

The Smashburger seating area on a Thursday night:

A large group is discussing the volume of Notre Dame emails.

“And I swear, the Week@ND keeps coming out later and later.” “I know, it was like 8 hours late this week.” “How else am I supposed to feel guilty enough to start my homework?”

Therese Konopelski is a sophomore PLS major whose minors are too wordy to list in any bio, as per usual Notre Dame style. To commiserate or contribute, contact her at tkonopel@nd.edu.