Well, folks, It’s time. It happened earlier than I wanted it to, but we simply cannot live in denial.

Winter is here.

Sure, this isn’t one hundred percent true. Some days, the weather slips quietly back into autumn, and we enjoy a brief reprieve from the bone-deep chill that even our fluffiest coats fail to keep out. But as sure as I bought a half price 2016 World Champion Chicago Cubs shirt after the Astros claimed the title last week, winter will always claim Notre Dame for its own.

Last time, I offered some tips for surviving the seasons here at Notre Dame. These tips were geared towards those poor unfortunate freshmen who hopped off the plane at ORD having never experienced cold weather before (not unlike myself all those fateful years ago). They were young and impressionable. They could still be saved.

Since then, however, I have noticed a trend among some of our more “winter-experienced” students (and faculty). And while writing twice about winter might seem like a lot, it certainly comes with the territory of being a South Bend resident—what else do we have but a deep communal need to discuss the harsh conditions we inhabit?

Many people have been making some startling wardrobe decisions as the temperature starts to drop and denial of autumn’s swift end sets in. And so, without further ado, I offer you 5 Questionable Cold Weather Clothing Choices (as observed by a Floridian curmudgeon):

  1. Ripped jeans: Dear fellow women (and also particularly fashion-forward men)—I love ripped jeans. I even love the super duper extra ripped jeans that came back into style this year. But I also love warmth, and I just don’t understand why one absolutely must continue to wear such porous attire when the temperature drops below forty. I’ll concede donning them for a night out, because I’ll concede a lot of clothing choices when it comes to the Backer. But on a regular day, when you’re just walking to class … please, be nice to your knees, and bring back the untarnished jeans.
  2. Exposed ankles: I’m not talking about leaving a teeny tiny sliver between the end of your leggings and your tennis shoes—I’m all about athleisure in any weather. I’m talking about still wearing cropped pants, or cuffing your jeans and willingly exposing your delicate ankle skin. Not only is it cold out, but it’s been rainy, and soon, it will be snowy and slushy. If those ankles get wet, you will be miserable. Don’t be miserable.
  3. Guys still wearing shorts: Even if you’re from Minnesota, I have so many questions. I know you’re not warm in shorts, and it’s not like shorts are particularly more flattering than pants. So why? Is it a pride thing? Is it a manly thing? Because let me assure you all, no one cares. Choose warmth.
  4. Sweaters with cutouts: I don’t consider myself a particularly trendy individual, so I guess this one might sound more judgmental than I mean it to sound. I just don’t understand why you’d butcher the functionality of a good sweater and put artsy holes in it for the sake of fashion. Are you not freezing when a sweater is supposed to make you warm? Are you not craving the full-bodied comfort a sweater is meant to offer you? I’m open-minded, but I admit I have a hard time understanding this one.
  5. Sandals: I love Birks and Chacos just as much as the next southerner, but your feet don’t deserve to be exposed to the elements like this. They deserve fuzzy socks. Or any socks really. Just cover those bad boys up and put the sandals away until April.

Lacey Silvestri is a senior English and history major who is currently wearing the half-price Cubs shirt she bought after last week’s World Series. Tell her to let go of the past at lsilvest@nd.edu.