Welcome to Notre Dame, ladies! You now have 4 years until you have to be engaged! Here are 7 easy steps to trad dating at Notre Dame!
But first, a quick definition of “trad:” from the Latin traditus, meaning “handed down”
Trad (masc): creature who owns at least one wooden-beaded rosary and two opinions about the Council of Trent that he will share even if you do not ask. Often spotted:
- Speed-walking to the Basilica
- Debating Thomist metaphysics at SDH (because NDH is for unaesthetic sinners)
- Saying “I’m discerning” with the full confidence of a man who once made eye contact with a girl in LaFun and never recovered.
Trad (fem): creature who owns at least one chapel veil, two floor-length skirts (keeping those ankles covered!), and one pinterest board titled “Catholic Wedding Inspo.” Often spotted:
- Hosting a Bible study with homemade baked goods
- Praying 30 minutes before Mass in her floral dress (even though it’s way too cold)
- Saying “I’m not rushing God’s timing,” while already knowing the exact month she wants to get married.
Step 1: Curate Your Trad Aesthetic (Preferably Before First Friday Adoration)
Dating trad at Notre Dame begins with crafting an aura that whispers, “I own a rosary for every liturgical season.” Your wardrobe should consist of:
- Prairie dresses that look like they escaped from a Flannery O’Connor short story.
- A cardigan that suggests you drink tea while contemplating the metaphysics of love.
- Shoes that could survive both a lake walk and a spontaneous pilgrimage.
Carry a book everywhere. It doesn’t matter which one. The Confessions work. So does Pride and Prejudice. The point is not reading—it’s signaling.
Step 2: Make Your Entrance Like You’re Walking Into the Basilica in Slow Motion
Trad dating is 80 percent ambiance. Glide into the dining hall as if you are the protagonist of a Hallmark movie. Tilt your chin at a gentle, pious angle. Smile like you’ve just finished the St. Therese novena. If someone compliments your outfit, respond with: “Oh, this? It’s just something I threw on after morning prayer. I found it at a thrift store” (You did not. You spent 45 minutes choosing it at Altar’d State.)
Step 3: Text Like You’re Writing a Letter from a Monastery
For those who are worldly enough to own a phone you may resort to texting.
Trad flirting is subtle, wholesome, and slightly confusing. Approved messages include:
- “Hope your day is blessed.”
- “Finished my reading for Theology … Can you explain why the Council of Florence spent so much time arguing about the Filioque?”
- “Would you like to walk around the lakes?” This last one is the trad equivalent of “Wanna hang out?” and is considered a legally binding romantic gesture.
Avoid emojis except the prayer hands and the dove. Anything else is too chaotic.
Step 4: Maintain Standards So High They Require a Ladder
Your ideal trad man should:
- Know at least three chant tones.
- Have a favorite encyclical.
- Own a blazer that he wears unironically.
- Be able to quote Chesterton off the dome.
If he cannot do these things, sigh gently and say, “I’m sure you’re wonderful, but I’m on a dating fast.” This phrase is the trad woman’s version of “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Step 5: Choose the Perfect Trad Date (Hint: It Involves Ducks)
Notre Dame offers a wide array of trad‑friendly date options:
- A walk around Saint Mary’s Lake, discussing the nature of beauty.
- Sitting on South Quad reading aloud from Love and Responsibility (satirical, but barely).
- Attending Vespers and pretending you understand Latin.
- Sharing a single hot chocolate from Cafe J because it feels cozy.
If he suggests drinks at The Backer, respond as though he has proposed mortal sin. You only go there for girls’ night!
Step 6: The Soft Rejection—A Sacred Art
Trad women do not ghost. They release men back into the wild with grace. Approved lines include:
- “I’m focusing on my spiritual life right now.”
- “I’m discerning my vocation.”
- “I think God is calling me to a season of stillness.”
- “I’m on a dating fast.”
All of these mean “no,” but in a way that makes him feel like he was actually your vocational director rather than your “ex.”
Step 7: The Grand Finale—Let Him Lead (But Only in the Ways You Approve Of)
He opens the door; you choose the restaurant. He suggests a second date; you schedule it around your Bible study. He offers to pray together; you pick the prayer. This is not hypocrisy. It is (non-liturgical dancing) choreography.
CONCLUSION: Trad Dating at Notre Dame Is a Lifestyle, Not a Hobby
It’s part romance, part drama, part spiritual aesthetic. It’s wanting a man who can both debate Thomistic metaphysics and carry folding chairs after a dorm Mass. It’s believing courtship can be timeless without being tedious. Dramatic without being delusional. Holy without being humorless.
And remember:
At Notre Dame, you’re not just looking for love. You’re racing to find your husband like a Basilica seat at Easter Vigil.
Godspeed! May your heart be steady, your intentions clear, and your situationships NONE!
Abigail Smith is a senior who has survived three years of men using Aquinas as a pickup line. Contact her for a “lake walk” at asmith78@nd.edu