Andrew Rebholz

Boat Stratification

Allegations that some early ticket purchasers were tipped off ahead of time continue to circulate.

Crayon Eating Craze

There seems to be no preference for color

Endangered triple-major freshmen facing extinction in stressful finals environment

Freshmen are coming to Notre Dame with vast dreams of exploring everything in their education, only to have these dreams obliterated a week before heading home for the holidays

Taco Bell Releases New Living Taco

This taco can think, and this taco can even do a little dance, changing your Taco Bell experience by offering dinner and a show.

NASA’s Insight Mars Explorer lands safely in Hollywood basement

Thanks to Hollywood film nerds, ever-willing to fake scientific progress with a camcorder and a little imagination, NASA has once again exploited the dreams of every young astronaut while simultaneously contributing to the nation’s debt.