Cheers:

Spring Break. Whether you spent spring break binge-watching Netflix at home or living it up on a beach, the campus is happy to have you back. Just think, you can now look forward to tornado warnings! It’s the beginning of the end! Just kidding, spring break is only the beginning of the academic year’s last quarter.

Pence Commencement Pick. Some students oppose Notre Dame’s tradition of choosing commencement speakers from new presidential administrations, but at least political scientists appreciate the administration’s decisions. Obama’s commencement address alienated conservatives. Astoundingly, Pence’s visit will manage to not only anger the far-right, but also the far-left! Regardless of your political affiliation, that has to be some sort of record.  

No More Midterms. After midterms, Mendoza and Arts and Letters students can return to their regular schedules. That’s right, according to science majors, we can now look forward to our next graded assignment being due weeks from now. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility…

Jeers:

March Madness. After Notre Dame’s exhilarating near-death experience with the Princeton basketball team, fans were disappointed by the game against the West Virginia Mountaineers. At this point, “Maybe next year” should be an official Notre Dame motto. Despite the loss, no student’s bracket suffered; one can always count on old Notre Dame for a consistent performance.

New Religious Institute. Notre Dame was recently gifted a large amount of money to found the Rafat and Zoreen Ansari Institute for Global Engagement with Religion. We the students are so overjoyed that the university’s amazing diversity in all areas is finally being recognized. As a world-renowned cosmopolitan hub, South Bend is the perfect location to meet and engage other students of different backgrounds. However, in all seriousness, the Institute’s mission will go a long way towards increasing intellectual diversity at Notre Dame.

St. Patrick’s Day. Notre Dame’s resident conspiracy theorists blame the administration for intentionally scheduling spring break over St. Patrick’s Day. Who can fault them really; damage control after our yearly bacchanalia sounds grueling. We the students hope they enjoyed their vacation, be assured that we are prepared to really #GoIrish again next year.

Therese Konopelski is a freshman PLS major whose minors are too wordy to list in any bio, as per usual Notre Dame style. To commiserate, contact her at tkonopel@nd.edu.