Father Jenkins calls for the Cotton Bowl to be forgotten

President Rev. John Jenkins, C.S.C., announced via email on Thursday that the University of Notre Dame will cover the highly-controversial and much discussed 2018 Cotton Bowl Game with curtains.

“The Cotton Bowl game has been the subject of conversation for many weeks now,” wrote Jenkins. “We have finally decided it would be best for the University if we obscured the Cotton Bowl completely from the general public.”

Deemed incredibly controversial for its depiction of the decimation of the Notre Dame football team, the 2018 Cotton Bowl has recently come under fire for its unabashed glorification of a much better football team.

“This is a….complicated issue,” Jenkins said in his email. “We recognize that football is an important part of the Notre Dame tradition. Goodness knows we’ve made a lot of money from it. Yet at the same time, it is important to recognize that the Cotton Bowl represents a tremendous loss of hope for the Notre Dame community.”

Student groups have rallied for change soon after the game aired on national television.

“It’s an embarrassment,” said Andre Ribholt, founder and president of Students for Tougher Defense. “Of course, at the time, it seemed like a great idea for Notre Dame to be in the Cotton Bowl. However, we cannot help but to understand the past with current perspective. The Cotton Bowl was an atrocity.”

Jenkins hopes covering the Cotton Bowl with a curtain will divert focus onto less problematic University football policies.

“Since the Bowl game, we’ve started construction on– Heck, we’ve basically finished a football practice facility large enough to hold a hundred bowl games–just not this one,” Jenkins said to University benefactors on Wednesday night. “What’s most important, however, is that we keep the conversation open. We now know that the best way to confront our troubled sports history is to cover it up completely.”

At press time, University officials had begun to debate whether or not the University should paint over the Notre Dame basketball team’s last five games.