Freshman lost in woods north of campus; returned to his people by anthropomorphic mammoth
No further details were shared with the Rover
IDEA Week mantra announced: “Money, money, money, money, money”
How to live the vow of poverty in the 21st century
Aspiring senior Criminal Justice Studies major still unwittingly attending Notre Dame College in Euclid, Ohio
She accidentally and unknowingly took a right on I-90 instead of a left
Amazon HQ won’t move into South Bend, Notre Dame to construct 1.5 million square foot office complex “just in case”
The University has already begun construction on three 50-story office buildings
Football team looking for “new, exciting crimes to get our wins revoked”
“We’ve tried academic violations before,” said Kelly. “We cheated on a few tests–who cares? It’s boring stuff, and I firmly believe that my boys can do better. I mean, after all, we’re undefeated in football. Why can’t we be undefeated in crime?”
Notre Dame head groundskeeper to resign over allegations of fall foliage color enhancements
In a shocking statement released late Friday afternoon, Nathan Bailey, Head Groundskeeper at the University of Notre Dame, admitted to overseeing the covert transplanting and/or spray-painting of thousands of trees on campus.
NASA’s Insight Mars Explorer lands safely in Hollywood basement
Thanks to Hollywood film nerds, ever-willing to fake scientific progress with a camcorder and a little imagination, NASA has once again exploited the dreams of every young astronaut while simultaneously contributing to the nation’s debt.
Brenston’s Winter Tips
Here are some winter-y tips to get you through this season of snow and cold and presents and cold and dark and cold.
Finance major sure to get everything he wants for Christmas except authentic happiness
After spending hours reviewing good and bad deeds from the past year, toymaker and reindeer hobbyist Santa Claus determined that Notre Dame finance major Bryce Ratner was just good enough to get nearly everything on his Christmas list.
Waddick’s tribute band “Rousseau’Shaughnessy” to play show at Legends this week, declines concert royalties
The popular campus indie-folk band “Rousseau’Shaughnessy”, comprised of 11 sophomore English majors living in Dillon Hall, is set to play their first public show at Legends this coming weekend.
