Campus Dining confirmed yesterday evening that beloved coffeeshop and study space Waddick’s will be closed by the start of the Fall 2018 semester and that a Bed Bath & Beyond domestic merchandise retail store will be opening in its place.

“We are very excited to be taking this next step in bringing quality bed and bathroom accoutrements directly onto the University’s campus,” said future sales manager Jeffersons Sandersons. “Bed Bath & Beyond is going to be your number-one stop for bedroom and bathroom needs, and maybe even needs beyond that.”

The retail superstore is planning on occupying all 350 square feet of Waddick’s former location.

“Something I’ve been really excited about is the new shipment of Sleep Number iLE King Size Beds,” Sandersons continued. “They’re magnificent. We’re going to have to fold them in half, but that’s okay. You still get the magic feeling that only a Sleep Number can give you.”

True to their business model, the future Bed Bath & Beyond will not be serving coffee.

“I’m honestly surprised that anyone even came here for a coffee break,” said manager-in-training Maurice Dostoevsky. “But I don’t see an issue. They can just go to that new coffee shop by the stadium.”

The University has debated in the past whether or not to open its own bedroom supply retail store in Crossroads, tentatively called “The Hagerty Family Bed Bath & Even Further Beyond Supply Store.” However, the University officially declined to comment on whether it will enter the retail big box market.

Hap Burke is still a junior.