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Freshman lost in woods north of campus; returned to his people by anthropomorphic mammoth



 

Jim Rouhner, a Notre Dame freshman who went missing in late September 2018, was found unharmed and unfazed on the steps of the main building on Monday morning. Rouhner had made no contact with authorities in nearly five months and was presumed dead by the FBI.

No leads explaining Rouhner’s disappearance have been uncovered. Local authorities assured that Rouhner, who was found cradled between a woolly mammoth, a saber-tooth tiger, and a talking sloth, will be given proper medical attention. No further details were shared with the Rover. Nevertheless, the woolly mammoth was able to give comment.

“You want to know what really happened? I’ll tell you. The boy was lost, the boy was found, the boy is back here,” said the mammoth. “It’s a powerful story. They ought to make four or five movies about this, at least.”

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